This reeks of melancholy

Sadness is a complicated concept to fathom. It takes time to comprehend a place where a combination of gratefulness and bitterness can be reminisced in harmony. I believe that sadness brings out the creativity in you, it allows you to explore different forms of art even when we believed we had no artistic talent. We delve into a world of expression- either expressing ourselves into words, drawings or creation. Sadness forces us to crave change. We begin to embrace new trends- be someone completely different but we fail at times. We suck at the new classes we try. The new hair-do looks awful. These new friends aren’t really our friends. All of this was just an attempt to breathe the fresh air we desperately craved.

When someone hurts us, we try so hard to let them know that they haven’t hurt us at all. In fact, we want to show them that we haven’t even felt a thing. We go out of our ways to indulge in new experiences because a little part of us wants to show them, ‘hey, look at me loving life! Who knows what you’re doing?.’ We try so hard to look happy but there’s always a void that stings us.  A little sunken feeling that makes you feel miserable. Yes, I’m talking about that feeling you experience when you’re staring at their facebook posts, cursing a little- wondering how they’re even managing to feel even a slight bit of felicity in their lives even after hurting someone. You begin to question the concept of Karma.

When we lose someone, we question ourselves hard. We try to find out all the things we could have possibly done wrong to lose them. We guilt trip ourselves; recalling the worst conversations we’ve had and we spiral into a little hole of guilt. We force blame onto ourselves. We try to convince ourselves that if we behaved differently, things would have been different.

As individuals, we all have a certain degree of control when it comes to ourselves feeling a certain way. For some,  it’s difficult to pull out of this state of affliction while for others, the feeling makes them so uncomfortable that they do everything they can to breathe fresh air. It takes time- we all need our own time to find ways to overcome this feeling. When we gather the courage to step out of this confinement, we grow stronger as individuals- we’re grateful that we experienced that because it changed us. We may also be bitter because it hurts to know that we allowed ourselves to feel even slightly vulnerable. These experiences can sometimes teach us to either love or fear the future but for sure, it corrects our mindset, stings our egos and forces us to develop a new persona.

However, something about this confuses me. All of us have experienced sadness and all of us take our own time to overcome it. Sadness is never a permanent thing. What confuses me is: when we experience sadness, there’s a part of us that craves comfort and attention however, when we see others experiencing sadness for a longer time, why do we provide comfort first but then after some time, begin to grow sick of them feeling this way. It’s almost as if we get irritated with this negativity- it gets a bit intolerable. Why is it that when we’re feeling vulnerable, we want the world to understand our pain but it becomes a little difficult to provide that empathy when we see someone else going through the same feeling?

Why is something so universally experienced yet a little misunderstood?


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