You restlessly stare out the window, hoping that time goes by a little faster. You can’t help but check the plane ticket every once in a while. Was this supposed to happen? A month ago, you actively counted down the days until it was time to fly back home.
But, you’re home now. A once-upon-a-time safe haven. The comfort and familiarity feels like no other. You know the roads. It feels uncomfortably right. Your childhood seems to be plastered on every wall. You’re home now, you remind yourself.
However, somewhere in between, your heart aches to leave again. It no longer reconciles with the pampering it experienced on the first couple days you were back. The wave of excitement dwindles as you meet more people.
“You’re still the same!” a sense of possible relief for those that hadn’t seen you in a while but to you, a mere insult.
You hardly feel the same. You know you’ve grown. Too much has changed. Your new dreams, your fears, your new habits. You’re aware of this. It’s evident to some but to those who fail to see it, you crave the idea of displaying your growth to them. You’re unsure why. Returning home feels almost as if you have to mould back into the same person you used to be. A minute meet and greet with a piece of you that you left behind. To experience a wave of emotions may be more than an understatement.
When did home suddenly feel so foreign? You’ve hardly been away for long. Updating your loved ones on the past few months feels a little memorised “This happened…and that happened…” but deep down, you enjoy reliving the memories with them through an episode of story telling. You’re grateful that you can hear their voices in person rather than on call miles away. You’re more than happy to share their excitement as you retell your stories for the fiftieth time. Yes, the dining hall isn’t always terrible, you reassure them.
But finally, you’ve learnt the meaning of home. Home is no longer your childhood house. It no longer belongs to the interiors of an old apartment. You’ve finally understood the phrase, ‘Home is not a place, its a feeling.’ Home lies with your loved ones, with those you value and trust – with those you can’t wait to spend another day with.
While you cherish the sentiments of those around you, you’ve also missed the routine of the newly created lifestyle back ‘home‘.
Was this the infamous travel bug ? Or the first part of adulthood you experience upon returning home ?
Inspired by Kellie Donnelly at the Thought Catalog.